I have a lot on my mind today. A LOT. It may be the lack of sleep or the lack of time to complete the craft-disaster that I have started in the living room, but whatever the cause, I’m even more of a talker than usual today, so bear with me. (The actual wedding stuff starts at number 4, so you can skip ahead if you are short on time!)
1. One of the radio stations I listen to on the way into the office (I have a 10 minute drive and listen to four different stations… ADD much?) does a segment called: Tool Tuesdays. It’s where they get a lil something off their chest by blasting someone (not by name) who was a huge tool to them this week. For example, one of the hosts talked about a guy on the ferry back from block island who was hammered and laid down on the seats next to her and kept hitting her unknowingly until she had to get up and walk away.
I’ve decided I like this, so today, my Tuesday Tool is the person who was driving through our neighborhood and felt it necessary to throw the bones from their chicken wings out the window as they went. Dear anonymous person, I have a dog, LOTS of us in this neighborhood have dogs. Dogs can smell chicken/bones from a mile away, but chicken bones splinter when chewed and can slice through the insides of a pup like mine and kill them. I did not enjoy our last walk, where every 10 steps I had to stop, pry open Remy’s mouth, stick my whole hand in, and pull out the bone he was trying so desperately to steal. If you insist on eating in your car, bring a bag for trash, because I don’t appreciate you using my neighborhood as your garbage can, and if anything happens to my dog as a result of your negligence, trust me, I’ll find you. YAY! That felt deliciously good.

Someone is cranky that mommy took away the chicken bones and tried to replace them with chicken flavored Nylabones, which I fear are not quite the same.
2. I always had OK skin. By OK, I mean occasional small breakouts, usually clear with the exception of a huge, massive, right-in-the-middle-of-my-face period pimple. When I started working out obsessively in November, my skin started breaking out like crazy. I have been really self conscious about it. I’ve gone to the dermatologist and used all this crazy, expensive stuff and was frustrated that nothing was working. Then, this weekend, a makeup artist told me that using the acne medicine is drying out my skin. As a result, my body says “OMG skin is dry! Must produce more oil!” So my skin overproduces oil and I breakout. She told me to wash with a mild soap and then use a light moisturizer that won’t clog my pores. It’s seriously been two days and I can not believe the change in my skin. HOLY CRAP. I feel like an idiot for paying so much for that foam prescription from the doctor. You live, you learn.
3. Home ownership SUCKS the big one. Our garage door broke. It was supposed to be a simple fix. We took it down and found out we have a custom sized door and have to have it custom ordered ($$). Then, when the company came to take the measurements they say “did you know your garage is slanted?” Are you frickin kidding me? Do they just want money? Nope, they don’t, it’s actually REALLY slanted. I either don’t look at the garage, or I tilt my head slightly to the right every time I do. So E and his dad decide they are gonna use a hydraulic jack to raise the garage up til it’s level. Once they really get into it, they find THIS:

This, my dears, is what happens when termites move into your garage and don't pay rent.
We had someone come look at it ($$) and they said that there is no live infestation (PHEW) and that the area has actually been treated previously, but never repaired (thanks previous home-owners). E is a huge fan of “if we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna do it right” so he’s ripping all the damaged wood out and replacing it ($$). Dear home-ownership, I miss my apartment. Love J.
4. ACTUAL WEDDING STUFF! Hahaha I warned you I was talkative today. Here are my aisle decorations:

Lovely right? Aww I think they’re just SO LOVELY. They were also fantastically easy and inexpensive. Here’s how I made them:
Step 1: Buy mason jars (or really any glass containers… I just love the look of mason jars).

I paid $9.99 for the case. I couldn't find them anywhere (except the craft store where they wanted $1.99 per jar) so I bought them online and had to pay shipping. Last week, I found them at BigY for the same price, obviously no shipping. Shoulda waited. Shucks.
2. Put a little sand in the bottom. I shared my budget sand find here, but I need to add that I found play sand at Toys R Us that is actually the white sandy beaches kind of sand, that you can use for the sand ceremony thingie that obviously I’m not doing because I don’t even know what it’s called. Anywhooo, they had a big bag, either 40 or 50lbs like mine, for $6.98.

Step 3: Toss some seashells in there. I bought mine in bulk for under $5 per half gallon bag. I bought wayyy too many and have like six or more half gallon bags left. If you’re in the market for white shells, let me know!
Step 4: Tie the ribbon on. Make sure you tie the ribbon very very tightly around the neck of the jar. The sand and shells can get heavy. Knot the ribbon at the back of the jar, and then put a second knot at the end of the ribbon to loop it around the chair or hook you are using along your aisle. Test each jar by hanging it off your arm and swinging gently to make sure you have tied it tightly enough. A beach wedding like mine is sure to have wind, and you’d hate to come down the aisle and see all the decorations you spent so much time on laying on the ground.

Step 5: If you want to use real flowers, you can stash these away at this point and then fill with water and flowers on the day of. Or, you can cut a silk flower to fit and place it in the jar.

My favorite thing about this craft is that you don’t have to be overly crafty to do it. Plus there isn’t much equipment required. All I needed was wire cutters to trim the silk flowers. If my hydrangea bushes ever decide to flower, I may use my own flowers in these, but they aren’t cooperating (and the two bushes that are blooming came in PINK this season. I could have used white, which they were last year, or blue… but they came in pink… of course).
Hope you are all having a great day so far. If you want to blast a Tuesday Tool or share a non-crafty craft of your own in the comments, well that would just make my day!